World Mental Health day – A Personal look into my battles

October 10th, World Mental Health Day. The Wicked Hippie Blog is catered to numerous categories, but mainly focuses on the positive aspects of life. As we know, life is also filled with a lot of negatives. As a long time sufferer from mental health issues, I have decided to personally share my struggles on this forum. Many of my issues had surfaced because I thought I was alone in these battles, but as it turns out; that is far from the truth. This day has inspired me to share my story and hope that someone else can benefit from this blog. If you are struggling or feel alone in these battles, I hope this blog can help you in some way.

In school, I was never really a target for bullying. Of course I have experienced it because what kid hasn’t, but for the most part I was liked by everyone and floated around my grade schools with no care in the world. However, mentally I was sitting inside a room tucked away in the corner facing anxiety and minor depression. Let me be the first to tell you, tucking away mental issues ends up against your favor. In fact, I was mostly oblivious to the situations I was facing because I chose to ignore it. As a young teen, I had a severe fear of failure and letting people down – particularly my family. At the time, I had thought that anxiety and or depression was a sign of weakness and something that is a disgrace. I walked around time after time with a smile on my face and a gleam in my eye.

Coming into my mid teens, my anxiety and depression had been slipping through my fingers and coming out in terms of anger. I was angry at people who were too close to me. Angry at people who had everything in the world. Angry at the people who even looked at me wrong. I was losing control of the things that I had been so ashamed of and for that, my parents became more ashamed of me. Outburst after outburst and saying things I greatly regret now, my parents were unhappy with me as their child. It was at this time that I had also been experimenting with cutting. At first I did it because that’s what seemed like everyone was doing. Then more cuts turned into more cuts because it had felt good. It felt good to let go of the pain that I had been holding inside. After a while, it felt like I had things under control. I was feeling better now that there was a way to release the pain I was feeling inside. Then I hit bottom.

I had made a reckless decision when I was younger, and I almost lost someone I cared deeply about and had got caught lying to my friends. After this, I had wrote a note saying that I didn’t deserve anyone or anything. That after all that I had done, I would be better off in the ground. My friends ended up turning in the note and I was sent to the guidance counselor office  and then sent to a professional therapist. Depression was something that I had fought with, but I have never been suicide, for which I am eternally grateful for. The note, at the time, had been a plea to my friends but had been taken to a level I never thought would. Although I only had a few sessions because I was never suicidal or severely depressed, the sessions did help me gain a better understanding of my problems. I had anxiety so severely that I suffered from minor depression.

The anxiety that I faced was because I was so afraid to fail and let myself and others down that I was anxious all the time of making a mistake. Then, senior year had arrived. Our Senior project was one that focused on our mental illnesses. We were required to dig deep into ourselves and find what was keeping us from truly being happy. Mine of course was my anxiety. To this day, and I am now a junior in college, I still suffer with that portion of anxiety, but have come to realize that my anxiety is actually social anxiety.  Afraid to go into public because of what people would think or if I would make a mistake, I would avoid going out and doing things that a person in their late teens would enjoy. So I became a homebody because that is my comfortable place.

Today, as a 21 year old adult and a junior in college, I have better learned how to deal with the social anxiety. I have found an assortment of activities that I am passion about. I attend concerts every month, travel, go to music festivals, go to bars, and hang out more by myself. Unfortunately, I do have moments where I stay inside all day long because I am so ashamed of who I am. So anxious about what people will say. There are days where I even turn off all of my social media because I don’t want them seeing any of my posts and judging them. Anxiety is something that can be a burden in your life. It can be hard to function with such a disease and the same goes for depression. However, they can be easier to live with. Get the help if you need it and don’t be ashamed. I was going to therapy for the wrong reason, but it gave me a better understanding of what I was facing. Find happiness in the little things. It will be hard to allow yourself to do it, but it will change your battles. Lastly, give it time. I have been battling this since I was in my early teens and I am now in my early twenties. Mental illness isn’t something you need to be ashamed of. It isn’t something that can be hid and something that you can fight on your own. So if you take anything from this ridiculously long article, understand this; end World Mental Health day on a positive note. Share your story regardless if its today or 4 days from now. Share it because someone will care, someone will help you, and someone will need it.

 

 

Tips for a successful healing piercing

Let’s talk body modification. At 21 years old, I have had 21 piercings and have learned several tips to successfully heal piercings. Im not talking simple ear lobe piercings here; I’m talking about nipple piercings, conch piercings, daith piercings, etc. These piercings  have circulated the body modification world more recently in the last few years and have brought many questions along with them. Iv’e gotten just about all the piercings in the book and although I am not a trained piercer, here’s a few tips i’ve learned during my healing times.

1. lITHA. Leave. It. The. Hell. Alone. Most piercers mention this after you get the piercing, but I can honestly say if you’re going to follow one thing on your after-care list, this is the thing. Our hands are always dirty so naturally touching your new piercing will attract dirt, germs, and anything else you DONT want in your piercing. Don’t  forget; your piercing is a new wound. Touching the jewelry means moving the jewelry which will reopen the would and delay your healing time.
2. Ibuprofen. Ibuprofen is a life savor when dealing with more advanced piercings. Piercings such as your conch, daith, and rook tend to swell more than your nostril or your ear lobe piercing(s). Not to mention, these piercings tend to run higher on the pain scale. Ibuprofen can help with any discomfort you are feeling and the swelling. Even if the pain has subsided and there is still swelling, taking the ibuprofen. I mentioned this tip because I have met several people in the piercing community who choose not to take over-the-counter pain meds because it “goes against” the body modification experience. If you need the ibuprofen, for pain and/or swelling, take it.
3. Ice. Icing wounds and injuries obviously helps reduce pain and swelling. Your piercings is an injury, treat it like one.
4. Sea salt soaks. Your piercing will thank you for this, trust me. Sea salt soaks relieve your piercing from irritation, help reduce swelling, and pull out any impurities that may be lingering inside of your wound. Here’s some tips to follow:
   1. Use pure sea salt(non-iodized) with distilled water.
   2. 1/4 tsp sea salt to 1 cup(8 oz) hot water
   3. Warm up the water to a good temperature that won’t burn you
   4. Press the solution against your skin(around the piercing) to form a seal and hold for 5 – 10 minutes.
   5. I DO NOT recommend the cotton ball method
   6. You could also use H2Ocean if preferred.
5. DO NOT USE:
   1. Rubbing alcohol or Hydrogen Peroxide: too harsh for long time use, and will dry out your wound causing delayed healing time.
   2. Harsh antibacterial soaps, i.e Dial.
   3. Antibiotic creams, i.e Neosporin, triple antibiotic ointments: These are meant for fresh wounds, not wounds that require healing even after 6 months old. Ingredients in these products can reduce oxygen flow which can be perfect to host bacteria.
   4. Bactine
   5. Claire’s pierced ear care solution: This contains lidocaine which can irritate your piercing even further.
6. Listen to your piercing. Every piercing is going to heal differently. If theres one thing I have learned, it would be this. While healing my rook piercing, I used a natural, fragrance free soap and tried to do a sea salt soak once a day. My rook reacted negatively to doing a sea salt soak more than twice in a row. My nipple piercings only healed doing sea salt soaks twice a day and my septum piercing burned like hell with soap so I used my H2Ocean. Your piercing might react differently to different cleaning methods, be patient. Eat a clean diet, wash the piercing no more than 3 times a day, and let it be. Your piercing will guide you to a successful healing if you listen to it.

 

Stay Wicked.